Kanye quits music to focus on being a twat

RAPPER Kayne West has quit the music industry to devote all his energy to twattish behaviour.

He said: “I am at a point in my life where I ask myself, what really fulfils me? Is it the arduous process of recording music and touring, or is it simply pissing off others?

“I would say the latter.”

Kanye’s plans for being a twat include beginning a lengthy boundary dispute with his neighbours, parking his massive jeep across three bays outside a local shop and putting a packet of Love Hearts up his backside then offering them to friends without saying anything.

Despite widespread criticism of his behaviour, West has been hailed as an inspiration to young twats.

A spokesman for the charity Tomorrow’s Twats, which works with twat children, said: “A lot of young people who are twats think they can’t make it in the world.

“Kanye proves you can be like that and still be a successful performer, artist and person who has their picture taken for pretentious magazines.

“He does not try to hide the fact that he is a twat and even if you don’t like twats you have to kind of respect that.”