'Paedo might be a compliment': Laurence Fox's guide to hair-splitting quasi-legal bullshit

YESTERDAY Laurence Fox lost a libel case. Here he compounds his humilation by opining on the finer points of English law and why it means he is right: 

The judge couldn’t define ‘racist’

The judge failed to give a ruling on the definition of the word ‘racist’. He seemed to think it irrelevant but I only said the paedo stuff in response to being called racist, which in legal terms is inceperunt eam or they started it. Therefore I am completely innocent until someone thinks of a definition for racism. That I accept.

‘Paedo’ might be a compliment

Yes, I called two people paedos. But what if I was comparing them to successful, popular paedophiles like Jeffrey Epstein or Jimmy Savile? Epstein was worth $650 million and Savile owned a Rolls Royce and a luxury caravan. Is it an insult to say ‘you own a private island’ or ‘you are a senior Royal’? No. So the judgment was flawed.

Racism is all about context

Wrongly accused of racism, I brilliantly demolished the prosecution’s argument. I said: ‘If a man is just released from a Ugandan jail where he’s been gang-raped by several men and goes “I hate black people”, it’s a sort of understandable response.’ See? No racism there, just a desire not to be sodomised by black men with their enormous penises.

They’re gay

The men I supposedly ‘defamed’ were gay. I would never reinforce baseless prejudices about certain groups in society, but come on. The fasciculum inflat defence is well-established in law.

You have to prove guilt beyond reasonable doubt

How could the court be sure an impostor didn’t hack my Twitter account to frame me? And I’ve got a bloody good idea who did it. What’s more likely, Laurence Fox goes on an idiotic rant on Twitter, or Sadiq Khan hacks me to undermine my campaign against ULEZ?

Justice is all about who can afford the best lawyer

Their barrister dredged up my saying black protestors in Peckham should ‘f**k off back to Jamaica’. Frankly I was hurt she viewed this innocent comment as racist. Any normal person would have interpreted it as a jocular, ‘matey’ use of the expression ‘f**k off’ with a recommendation to visit the home of sunshine, jerk chicken, and reggae.

The prosecution called me an ‘intelligent racist’

I’ve f**ked my acting career, my marriage to Billie Piper and even my GB News job. Now, having lost a libel case, I’m appealing the verdict which will cost me what remaining money I have to lose again. The word ‘intelligent’ shows these so-called legal experts don’t have a  f**king clue.

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