THOUSANDS of people who find actual music too confusing are excited to purchase the new single by Cheryl Cole.
Sales administrator Emma Bradford, who plans to buy I Don’t Care, said: I dont like music, but I want some sound that I can put on at home when I feel the need to quell the voices in my head.
I also like participating in whatever the telly tells me I should be doing.
Ive tried listening to albums by ‘musicians’ who are not celebrities but they make my frontal lobe hurt. The songs vary too much and the words are often quite strange and not that literal.
Father-of-two Stephen Malley said: I am going to buy this because I find her sexually attractive.
Its fucking pathetic but there you go.