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Queen's Broadcast A Self-Indulgent Mess, Say Critics

THIS year's Christmas message from the Queen has failed to impress the critics with most dismissing it as self-indulgent and boastful.

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Britain Gets Up At 4am To Buy Record Amount Of Crap

MILLIONS of people got up in the middle of the night to buy vast amounts of shit they did not need yesterday, after stores told them it was now a bit cheaper.

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