SIX-SEVEN is what the kids are saying, and you’re supposed to care. But does the new generation’s race for fresh online slang just make them easier to ignore? Let’s assess:
‘Ate’
To do something well, as in ‘ate and left no crumbs’. ‘Ate’ on its own is a pretty dull word, so it’s unlikely to catch on. Give it no further thought and leave youngsters to become as socially irrelevant at the tender age of 14 as someone saying ‘Talk to the hand!’ today.
‘Six-seven’
Making up meaningless words to annoy people is the act of a twat. When a teen uses this, reply to subsequent questions with your own gibberish. Meet ‘Can you give me a lift to Emma’s?’ with ‘Klaatu barada nikto’ and see if they think that’s f**king funny.
‘Chopped’
Meaning ‘ugly’. A gratuitous substitution. If Gen Alpha and Z continue like this they’ll ultimately become incomprehensible even to each other, leaving them all wandering around aimlessly, unable to organise simple things like getting pissed in the park because it comes out as: ‘Fish manga cubit swindle lathe ocelot, Josh?’
‘Mewing’
Popularised by a kid called the Rizzler – don’t bother Googling the little shit – this is holding your tongue against the roof of your mouth to improve your facial structure permanently. There is no f**king way this works and if you do it, you are wrong.
‘Washed’
As in washed-up, which Gen Z are surprised the pop singers they ran a stan IG about three years ago are now because they haven’t had another hit. Happens to us all, kids. Specifically it will absolutely happen to you.
‘Generational’
Replacing ‘iconic’ as the misused word to describe anything they believe is good. ‘Sabrina Carpenter had a generational run’, for example, about three singles last year one of which you’re already struggling to recall the tune or title of.
‘Onika burger’
A version of ‘ate’ but referencing Nicki Minaj’s real name Onika and the phat ass she supposedly acquired from burgers. Its appeal is that it’s nonsensical and confusing to those not in on the joke. So by thinking ‘f**k right off’ you’re playing into their hands.
‘Sigma’
Someone who is successful and self-reliant, but unlike an ‘alpha’ he acts as a ‘lone wolf’. We definitely need more words to encourage the macho fantasies of delusional men, so enjoy watching this tosser discover he’s as mediocre as anyone else.
‘Fanum tax’
Playfully helping yourself to someone else’s food. Admittedly handy to have a term for, just not this one. Named after Fanum, a Twitch streamer who adopts a character for his videos. He won ‘Best Roleplay Streamer’ at the 2023 Streamer Awards. Generational.
‘Pookie’
Means cute and doubles as a term of endearment. It’s shit, cloying and embarrassing, but saying it is its own punishment. It won’t take most people long to realise they don’t actually want to have sex or a relationship with a bellend who calls them ‘Pookie’.
