Thursday, 13th May 2021

See you in six months I'm off to Kabul, says Harry

PRINCE Harry has informed his wife that he has received an urgent military call-up and will return from Kabul in November. 

The Duke of Sussex brandished a buff envelope and claimed it was from his regiment, that they are extremely short-staffed and he had no choice but to go along or he would be declared AWOL.

He continued: “Good luck with the baby and my insane family and everything. I’m going to get shot at by lunatics.

“I would stay, and you know how much I was looking forward to helping with all the night feeds and everything, but you know what the army are like. Such terrible timing!

“Remember not to talk to Piers Morgan and that I’m only absent because I’m a hero.

“That sounds like my helicopter touching down in the garden. If you need anything from Tesco on the way back, text.”

Chief of staff General Mark Carleton-Smith said: “We concluded hostilities in Afghanistan last year, but Harry asked us to keep it going for him as a favour.”