Torvill, Dean and five other celebrities who have spun their tiny amount of fame out for decades

FORTY years ago Britain did not give a f**k about figure skating. Then we briefly did, and despite everything two Olympic gold winners are still famous today. Like many others:  

Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean, famous since 1984

The fever that grips Britain during the Olympics is occasional but fervent. It elevated these two, and incidentally Ravel’s Bolero, to incredible renown. Can you name a single winner of this event since? No. Did they win anything since? Bronze, in Lillehammer, in 1994, doing a routine to Nirvana’s Lithium. But still you believe ITV was lucky to get them.

Eddie the Eagle, famous since 1988

Currently making up the numbers on Dancing on Ice, Eddie is famous for not being good at ski jumping. His most lasting contribution to sport is that after he won British hearts, the rules were changed so nobody as bad as him could ever compete in the Olympics again. He remains famous. Roland Rat, his contemporary, now works in IT.

Rita Ora, famous since 2012

Achieving her fame the old-fashioned way, by releasing hit singles while being hot, Rita had her first number one almost exactly 12 years ago. After that her career’s been chequered but she has never, for one moment, ceased to be famous. She’s barely had a charting single since her pandemic birthday party. Nonetheless.

Jamie Laing, famous since 2011

A wealthy public-school educated love cheat who had the gall to get famous without even becoming a Conservative MP first. Has achieved nothing despite having every advantage in life and now feeds his fanbase with three separate podcasts, releasing on average 30 hours of material every single day.

Amanda Holden, famous since 2000

Her TV credits begin in the 1990s, but she only became a household name after cheating on Les Dennis with Neil Morrissey. Almost a quarter of a century later, that remains the most notable thing she’s ever done. Sits in judgment on the talent of others, because who says Simon Cowell doesn’t have a sense of humour?

Sophie Ellis-Bextor, famous since 2001

One f**king song. One song, and a pandemic kitchen disco where she danced around to the playlist of Magic FM. And yet everyone in Gen Z knows who she is.

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Man who arranged third date for Saturday night thinks he's being sneaky

A MAN who has casually arranged his third date on a Saturday night when the previous two were midweek genuinely believes she will never suspect. 

34-year-old Tom Logan has set up the date when neither party has any work commitments the following morning and is confident Sophie Rodriguez will not wonder why.

He said: “Our first date was on a Monday and I suggested just meeting for coffee, making me look super keen and not like someone who needs alcohol involved. Strategic.

“Once that one was quickly dispensed with, but still counts, our second was on a Thursday at a restaurant. We had a bottle of wine but, like a gentleman, I didn’t make any moves and I think she was impressed with that.

“And lo and behold, here we are at our third date and it’s on a Saturday. Who would have ever seen that one coming? All those excuses about needing to be home because it’s work in the morning are right out the window.

“I even checked if she had any plans on Sunday while feigning interest in her life and she’s just ‘going for a run’. I stopped myself saying ‘you’ll be well exercised already, love’. Don’t want to give the game away.

“The whole initial meeting to shag trajectory – or IM2ST, if you will – has been exquisitely timed. I hope she appreciates that, and that I’ll never call her again.”

Rodriguez said: “A Saturday? For the third date in a three-date series? Why, how unexpected!”