Will Smith moved to his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air

AFTER getting in one little fight, Will Smith’s mum got scared and moved him to his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air, it has been confirmed.

In a case of art imitating life, the West Philadelphia born-and-raised actor has been forcibly relocated after a single high-profile incident where he slapped comedian Chris Rock across the face at last night’s Oscars ceremony.

A Hollywood insider said: “I’m as shocked as everyone else. Will was in the audience chilling out, maxing, relaxing, all cool. Then before you know it he’s physically assaulting someone in front of the whole world.

“Then he accepted the Oscar and hopefully accepted that his entire career is over at the same time because as soon as it finished he was whisked away.

“He was flown out first class, where of course he’ll be able to sip orange juice out of a champagne glass. This is what the people of Bel-Air are living like so we think Will will be alright.

“After pulling up to a house about seven or eight and informing the cabbie that his body odour was uncongenial, he met the family he will be spending most of his days in opulence with.

“Two spoilt, unacquainted-with-reality kids, his wife and a wise, refined butler. It won’t be hilarious but it will be mildly diverting on BBC2 at 6pm.

“Although to be fair an alopecia gag about someone’s wife referencing a largely forgotten film from 25 years ago is both shit and out of order.”

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'Is £100k a good salary for a 27-year-old?' How to be a personal finance wanker

CONCERNED that not everyone in the UK knows about your high income? Why not kick up a massive fuss about it? 

Write to a newspaper for advice

Feign concern about your enormous income, multiple homes or large capital sums. Questions can include ‘Is it realistic to retire at 35 on my pension of £200k a year?’, ‘How do I manage my six-property retirement portfolio?’ and ‘I forgot I own a controlling interest in Monster Beverages’.

Appear in the Home section of the Sunday Times

Earn so much that your talentless spouse, who enjoys a large private income, fancies themselves an interior designer? Belgravia townhouse full of vintage shit? Then you deserve a double-page spread showing off your artfully-placed rusty printing plates hanging on your Portland stone wall.

Share your wisdom with poorer friends

Ideally through a newspaper, advise pals who are saving for a deposit on a two-bedroom flat in Zone 8 that they should have bought 60 Bitcoins back in 2013, like you did. Obviously it was risky and they should only invest what they can afford to lose, which is why you only put £45 grand in.

Give out down-to-earth economising tips

There’s a cost of living crisis, so publicise your sacrifices. You’ve cut your flight budget to business class? Got rid of your driver? Decided to gift a Picasso to the nation to reduce your tax bill? Admit it and inspire others to follow suit. After all, everyone’s going through it.

Start a consultancy

Why let your wisdom go to waste? Found a consultancy, complete with YouTube channel and podcast, so it can be available to everyone to a fee. Headlines such as ‘Financially free at 40, but fulfilled?’ and ‘Following your dream: a guide to harnessing your wealth’ will bring in clients who are even bigger tossers than you.