Celebrity

ISN’T cooking funny, with all its potential for sexual innuendo? For no particular reason, here are some phrases you wouldn’t want to be misinterpreted in a mixed-sex cookery environment.

SUPERGRASS are opening Glastonbury while all we really want to know about is the Primrose Hill celebrity wife-swapping debauchery of the early 00s. Be glad you were never involved.

THE coronation of King Charles III, a marvellous occasion that was on the television for a whole day, cost taxpayers £72,000,000. Worth it?

YESTERDAY’S inheritance tax protest by farmers was led by a multi-millionaire who has spent the last two decades pissing off everyone he can.

CELEBRITIES publishing memoirs for the Christmas market have been advised nobody gives a shit what happened to them before age 16, minimum.

KING Charles has aged a further year despite his already advanced age, with critics of the Palace calling it ‘yet another unforced error’.

FAMOUS? Been offered money to slap your name on something and said yes even though you’re already rich? These are seven common cash-ins.