Celebrity

CONSIDERING sleeping with a married man whose wife doesn’t understand him? Girlfriends warning you it won’t work out? Look who’s Queen now, bitches.

BROKEN-HEARTED bachelor Rupert Murdoch has been dumped. Here he talks us through how true love ended so soon.

SO, a gaggle of micro-celebs like Prince Harry and Elton John have got the f**king nerve to sue us, the Daily Mail, have they? Let’s find out who these bitter nonentities are.

A SKIER is suing Gwyneth Paltrow after a 2016 accident on the slopes left him trapped in her fanny for nine hours.

RUPERT Murdoch is to marry for the fifth time, aged 92, because he still has so much love to reward the world with.

THERE are celebrities whose sex lives you’d happily read a 1,000-page book about, and celebrities you’d prefer not to think of that way. Guess which ones share?

RAPPER Ice Spice is massively popular with Generation Z. As such, your ageing father hasn’t got a clue who or what an ‘ice spice’ is. Here are his theories on the subject.

A MERE 23 years ago, it was impossible to achieve fame without being a dickhead.  The 90s spawned these monsters.

STANLEY Johnson is to be knighted in recognition of his immense contribution to the world of twattery, it has been confirmed.

THEY say ‘don’t meet your heroes’, but rarely continue ‘because you’ll make a twat out of yourself and cringe whenever you see them on telly’. Expect these conversations.