Celebrity

Is the Coronation today? Your eight-day guide

IS this the day the Coronation happens, or is it going to drag on even f**king longer?

William made deal with media that his wife would be the fairest of them all

THE Prince of Wales accepted a cash sum and assurances that his wife would always be ‘the fairest of them all’ in return for dropping legal action, it has emerged.

Six Z-list celebrities you occasionally think about and wonder what they're up to

LOW-TIER celebrities do not cease to exist when they vanish from our screens. Occasionally you wonder what these ones are up to.

Britain stares terrified at onrushing tsunami of Coronation bullshit

THE UK is standing petrified, transfixed by an onrushing tidal wave of Coronation bullshit which will soon drown us all.

Why being a married man's side piece can really pay off, by the Queen

CONSIDERING sleeping with a married man whose wife doesn’t understand him? Girlfriends warning you it won’t work out? Look who’s Queen now, bitches.

'When she saw me in lizard form she was horrified', broken-hearted Murdoch confesses

BROKEN-HEARTED bachelor Rupert Murdoch has been dumped. Here he talks us through how true love ended so soon.

The Daily Mail guide to the Z-list celebrity scum suing us

SO, a gaggle of micro-celebs like Prince Harry and Elton John have got the f**king nerve to sue us, the Daily Mail, have they? Let’s find out who these bitter nonentities are.

I spent nine hours wedged up Paltrow's fanny, says skier

A SKIER is suing Gwyneth Paltrow after a 2016 accident on the slopes left him trapped in her fanny for nine hours.

I just have so much love to give the world, says Murdoch

RUPERT Murdoch is to marry for the fifth time, aged 92, because he still has so much love to reward the world with.

Eight celebrities whose sex lives you would prefer never to have known about

THERE are celebrities whose sex lives you’d happily read a 1,000-page book about, and celebrities you’d prefer not to think of that way. Guess which ones share?