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Fit An Energy Meter, Says Freddy Krueger

DISFIGURED child murderer Freddy Krueger has asked householders to consider the environment or he may have to tear out their spleens, it emerged last night.

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Earth-Like Planet Actually Sunderland-Like Planet

HOPES of intelligent life on planet Gliese 581g were dashed yesterday as scientists revealed it is actually a bit like Sunderland.

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