Trump pulls out of 21st century

DONALD Trump has pulled the US out of the liberal consensus of having a ‘2’ at the beginning of the year. 

The president has announced that there is no evidence for the ‘chronological conspiracy’ that time moves forward, and that it runs counter to his aim of making America great again.

He continued: “The greatest years in American history? 1969, the moon landing. 1988, we won the war on drugs. 1946, Trump was born.

“Notice what they’ve got in common? You got it, folks. That ‘19’. That beautiful little ‘19’.

“People – losers, haters, really horrible people – say those ‘19’ days are over. That they’re in the past. That this whole ‘20’ thing that they have going on now is how it has to be.

“Well, we have the best scientists on earth here in America, really tremendous. And let me tell you, they’re gonna turn this thing around so fast it’ll make your head spin. Believe me.”

78-year-old Trump voter Wayne Hayes said: “Finally, a politician that delivers on his promises. Ah’m gonna be young again.”