Bovril, liver, brains on toast: five disgusting foods old people love

DESPITE the existence of supermarkets and Deliveroo, some older people still claim to like foodstuffs that were surely a result of wartime food shortages. Why not try these tasty treats?


Mmm, a lovely refreshing hot beef drink. Luckily society came to its senses and realised that drinking a steaming mug of thin gravy was mad. There’s a reason there isn’t a Bovril equivalent of Starbucks, where millennials go to fill their keep-cups with beef stock. 


Liver is a food that you’re supposed to wash in milk, in order to remove as much of the taste of liver – from the liver – as possible. Frankly, that’s a damning assessment. Also, if you go into a butcher to ask for some, there’s no way you won’t sound like Hannibal Lecter. 


If you ever find yourself feeling hungry, tripe is one of the best foods to fix your appetite. Simply imagine tucking into a plate of steaming stomach lining and you will be so sickened your hunger will disappear. When people talk about life being ‘better in the old days’, tripe is proof that they’re talking from their arses.

Brains on toast

Whether you admit it or not, everyone had a favourite set of grandparents. An easy way to decide between them would be to remember if either of them ever made lunch for you and served up some ‘brains on toast’. The hammer-blow of revulsion was made even worse as you no doubt initially thought they’d said ‘beans on toast’.


Aspic is a sort of savoury jelly that has an assortment of other foods randomly suspended in it. Seeing chunks of spam and egg preserved in beige jelly makes the entire thing look more like weird modern art than anything you’d want to call dinner. 

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Five shit jobs people never tire of telling you they once did

EVERYONE’S had a job they could best describe as ‘character-building’. But some people can’t stop going on about them. Here are some they wear as a weird badge of honour.

Bar work

As pubs reopen in earnest next week, people will be regaling each other with dull tales of how they used to do shifts in the Lamb and Flag. Unsurprisingly, they pulled the best pint of bitter in the entire county too. Not the most scintillating job, but most pubgoers just sit there getting pissed, so it’s hardly the non-stop stress of working in the Queen Vic.

A paper round

The shit pay undoubtedly made it a form of child slavery. However these days ‘getting a paper round’ is normally used as a slight on the ‘lazy’ modern generation. To hear some people go on, you could easily believe everyone born before 1980 had a punishing paper round. It’s almost as if some of them might be making it up. 

Supermarket work

A few shifts in a week in a supermarket seems to have been a rite of passage for many. And although it might sound – and would have been – totally boring, people will always try to make out it was thrillingly eventful. Shagging behind the deli counter, lettuce fights in the walk-in fridge, spitting in the salad bar. Yeah right. It was Asda, not Sodom and Gomorrah.

Miscellaneous factory job

People love bringing up their time on the factory floor. Yes, they spent hours podding peas or packing boxes or screwing lids on toothpaste. And yes, it was boring. But it was only six weeks of your summer break from Durham University, 22 years ago. Remember how you spent your lunch hour reading The Catcher in the Rye and everyone thought you were a mega twat?

Pot washer

Working in kitchens seems to leave lifelong scars on anyone who did it. Expect excruciatingly detailed accounts of washing pots, filling the industrial dishwasher and alcoholic chefs. Give it a rest though, you weren’t Anthony Bourdain, you did some shifts in a Harvester in the 00s.