A PISSED man has blown the culinary world apart by adding a fifth cheese to pizza.
When Stephen Malley staggered home from a night out, little did he realise that moments after tripping over the cat and banging his head on a cupboard, he was to revolutionise the world of convenience food.
He said: “After a drink, because it had been 20 minutes since the pub, I remembered the bog-standard quattro formaggi pizza in the freezer. Get that f**ker cooked, I thought.
“But in the time it took the oven to heat up I’d somehow prised off and eaten quite an amount of the frozen grated cheese and that’s when inspiration struck.
“There was a wedge of Stilton in the fridge my wife had specifically told me not to eat. After taking a big bite, then unwrapping it, I took another big bite and crumbled the rest onto the pizza. That’s how Cinque Formaggi was born.
“It took a visionary to create, then eat, then fall asleep on the sofa, then work out how he’d created it the next day with a hangover, but I believe it will revolutionise Italian cuisine once someone tells them. Has anyone got a number for the Pope?”
He added: “I could, in theory, create a six-cheese pizza because they sell brie on Sainsbury’s deli counter. But I don’t know the Italian for ‘six’ so I haven’t.”
