Wednesday, 19th February 2020

Greggs' vegan sausage roll 'is against the will of the people'

THE introduction of vegan sausage rolls by Greggs could be the last straw for disaffected Northern communities, it has been warned.

The imposition of the meatless, dairy-free pastry product on those who already feel ‘left behind’ by Westminster could lead to civil unrest and sausage riots.

Yorkshire resident Norman Steele said: “The EU referendum didn’t specifically mention sausage rolls, but we certainly didn’t vote for another stab in the back by the metropolitan elite.

“If you talk to ordinary folk they’re just worried about their blandly comforting pork tubes dying out. No one wants to lose their traditional way of sausage.

“Gregg’s shelves are overcrowded as it is. That’s not veganist. We just don’t think soya protein substitute really tastes of anything.”

The government said it was addressing the issue with plans for emergency airlifts of the cheapest sausage rolls that can be found in pork-loving EU states such as Germany.

Remain voter Tom Logan said: “You can’t fight progress. I’d be happy to try exotic sausage rolls made with wild boar or octopus. Anything that makes me feel sophisticated, really.”