Of course we want the dessert menu, says anyone in right mind

RESTAURANT customers have told waiters not to waste their time asking if they would like to see the dessert menu because the answer is always yes. 

Diners have pointed out that they are clearly greedy bastards or they would not be eating out in the first place so it can be safely assumed that the answer to ‘Want a big fat cake?’ will be in the affirmative.

Roy Hobbs of Wrexham said: “You think I want to walk out of a restaurant with a savoury taste lingering in my mouth? Why, for f*ck’s sake?

“Call it dessert, pudding, sweet or whatever else suits but bring me a menu filled with butter, sugar, chocolate and cream without delay. Have a few fruit ones if you like. We won’t choose them.”

Emma Bradford agreed: “It should be one of those things where they do it by default unless you opt out, like organ donation. It’s of equal importance.

“Gorging on creme bruleé, brownies and salted caramel tarts is a right, not a privilege.

“The dessert ordering experience needs to be reframed so that deniers are forced to see their behaviour for what it is – antisocial and fundamentally against nature.”