Thursday, 15th April 2021

47-year-old woman still terrified her mum will find out she smokes

A GROWN woman in her late 40s is scared stiff that her mother will find out she smokes.

Joanna Kramer lives in mortal dread of her mum bollocking her upon discovering she has a secret 20-a-day habit.

Kramer said: “There is nothing on this earth more terrifying than getting a severe telling off from your mum, or even just a look of pure, unadulterated disapproval. I don’t care how old you are.

“I cover my habit when I visit her by sucking a shitload of mints so my breath is fresh. It seems to work, but I suspect she thinks I have a weird obsession with Polos.”

Margaret Kramer said: “Of course I know she smokes, I have since she was a teenager. Her clothes reek of fags and the excuse ‘I was standing next to a smoker’ is even less convincing now she’s a middle-aged solicitor.

“But then she has no idea her real dad isn’t who she thinks he is, so we both have our dirty little secrets.”