EVERY female member of staff at a primary school is either pregnant, on maternity leave or about to become pregnant.
The entire female body of staff at the Birchwood Primary Academy in Godalming, which is 78 per cent of them, enjoys a fertility rate roughly three times the national average and set to rise higher.
Parent Emma Bradford, whose sons attend the school, said: “I don’t know what’s going on but they should prescribe this place on the NHS.
“My seven-year-old’s class teacher is off on maternity leave, her temporary replacement finishes for maternity leave next week, and her replacement is visibly showing. It’s a Russian doll of endless fecundity.
“You’d think being around children would put them off sex, I know it has me. But they’re barely hired before they’re up the duff. It’s a one-school population explosion.
“Then they all come back part-time and the school has to hire more teachers who get pregnant in turn and so on. Soon the school will only exist to teach the children of the staff. After that they will take the county, then the country, then the world.”
Headteacher Julian Cook said: “There’s nothing suspicious about it. It’s just that primary teaching is easy and has 13 weeks of holidays with nothing to do but shag.”
