Friday, 7th May 2021

'Believe in me now, bitch?' asks Covid

COVID-19 has asked President Trump if he still thinks it is ‘just the flu’ that ‘will vanish on its own’ now. 

The virus, which has infected the president and first lady Melania Trump, hopes that the couple can hear it saying ‘Now who’s the fake news, dickheads?’ from inside their bloodstreams. 

It continued: “Remember saying ‘One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear?’. You’d better f**king hope so, huh? 

“Sorry to get all attacking your lungs and breathing capacity about this, but sometimes you need to make your point in person. When you’ve been insulted. 

“What’s that I see fussing around your fat, old coronavirus-infected body? Doctors? But I thought you were a natural born medical genius. What do you need them for? Can’t cure me yourself?

“Who’s not worth wearing a mask for now? Who’s not worth cancelling your rallies for now? Who’s not afraid of coronavirus now, bitch? 

“Man this feels good. Hope I don’t get carried away.”