THE average life expectancy has increased by six bitter, ignorant years since 1990, researchers have found.Doesn’t agree with these teleporters they have now
Advances in medical technology means that Britons are living longer than ever before while detesting every single minute of it.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: 200 years ago, a 40-year-old was considered a wise elder and barely had more than a few months to seethe about the changing world around them.
But a 40-year-old today has half a century to slowly realise they despise everyone and everything and to loudly voice those feelings.
What a wonderful extra six years they will be, moaning about flying cars and making politically incorrect remarks about cyborgs.
We believe the truism lifes too short will be replaced by lifes intolerably long by around 2050.
82-year-old Susan Traherne said: Six more years of immobility, watching Heartbeat and shouting angrily at a pot plant I believe to be my niece isnt nearly enough.
I demand immortality so I can loathe this nursing home and the family who stuck me in it forever.