By Martin Bishop, formerly the most obese man in the newsroom
YOU will not believe what happened when I took a popular weight-loss drug noted for its effectiveness and the vast body of clinical evidence proving it aids weight loss!
But before this exciting reveal, let me explain my situation. I was 19 stone and it was ruining my life. I avoided social situations, wore only shapeless, baggy clothes, and drank heavily while eating family bags of crisps every night.
I finally realised I had to act when I walked into a room and someone called out: ‘Harpoons ready lads, thar she blows!’ Mind you, that was in 2008 so fair enough, it’s taken me a while.
I’d heard about a new weight loss drug so I went to the chemist and paid £205 for a month’s supply of Mounjaro. ‘That’s not cheap, but the editor’s told me I can expense it,’ I thought to myself, in another dramatic chapter to my story.
After my first injection, you’ll never guess what happened: an appetite suppressant made me not feel hungry. My usual dinner of extra-large doner with chips, three pieces of chicken and six spring rolls sat there untouched. What was going on?
Then something even more incredible happened. After barely two months of eating much, much less, my face was distinctly less pudgy. And my belly, though still large, had noticeably shrunk. And each pound I’d shed had required really very little willpower at all.
Now, just 18 months later, I’m down to a svelte 14 stone. Things I’d never dreamed of doing before are a reality – wearing XXL joggers, remaining standing while the kettle boils, confidently approaching a woman in the pub if she’s is not too attractive.
I can only thank Eli Lilly for turning my life around, and I hope you found my story inspirational. You’d better have, because there’s a lot of fat journalists out here and the media is going to make sure you hear about every last one.
