Brexit talks end as Google abolishes EU

BREXIT secretary David Davis is on his way home from Brussels after Google abolished the European Union.

Earlier today the EU fined Google a record $2.7bn for reasons now erased from history, prompting the tech giant to dismantle the 60 year-old political and economic union and bulldoze all of its buildings into the North Sea.

A Google spokesman said: “Any ongoing business the EU may have had is now complete. The UK should consider itself as having left the European Union. As have the other 27 former members.

“Meanwhile, we look forward to having a co-operative relationship with any organisation that may be set up to replace the EU, until it becomes surplus to our requirements.”

The spokesman added: “The UK can now negotiate with us if it wants. Apparently there are some issues about corporation tax?

“Don’t worry about the bulldozers, they’re for this other thing.”