Saturday, 30th May 2020

English somehow believe Scots will happily welcome them this summer

ENGLISH people dreaming of visiting the Scottish highlands once lockdown ends are also imagining that they will be given a warm welcome. 

Holidaymakers who have downgraded from Sardinia to a quick tour around Scotland have deluded themselves that an influx of English people from coronavirus hotspots will prove popular north of the border.

Martin Bishop of Reading said: “It’s just not safe flying this year. So we’ve decided to treat the Scots to a fortnight of our company instead.

“I’m sure these isolated villages and islands will be delighted to see a family of English people in their community, and we’ll certainly be relived not to always be wearing facemasks.

“I can’t wait to breathe in that fresh Highland air and then to exhale all over other shoppers in the Co-op or wherever. I’m sure we’ll make tonnes of friends.”

Bill McKay of Fort William said: “Oh aye, they can come here. If they no mind never being seen again.”