THE big nuclear thing in Japan finally made sense today after some
people said it was now the same number as something you have heard of.
As the people confirmed the Japan thing was now a seven, making it exactly the same as the famous Chernobyl, ordinary millions across the globe said ‘oh, I see’.
Helen Archer, from Peterborough, added: “I’ve been steering clear of this story as all that seemed to have happened was some radioaction going into the sea.
“But it’s not as if you can kill the sea, so I didn’t bother having an opinion about it and then somehow managing to make it all about me.
“Now it’s a seven, I can start to wonder what people will say about me after all the radioacation makes my hair fall out.
“By the way, did you know that Chernobyl was a seven? That means we’ve now had two Chernobyls. Which is really a 14. Makes you think, doesn’t it?”
Tom Logan, from Finsbury Park, said: “I’m glad it’s finally been Chernobylised. This whole ‘is it-isn’t it’ shenanigans had gone on for far too long.
“It really makes the whole thing much more dramatic and accessible. On a human level.”
Meanwhile Daily Mail reporters have received an urgent email from their newsdesk reading: “Attention. Fukushima has now been sevened.
“Stop whatever you’re doing and think up 12 new words for ‘death’.”