THE Queen is not enjoying her visit to Germany, it has emerged.
The monarch, overheard while speaking on her mobile phone, complained that Germany was ‘a bit depressing’ and that Chancellor Angela Merkel was ‘like Nicola Sturgeon, but without the whimsical charm’.
The Queen also said that seeing the Berlin Wall was the one thing she was looking forward to ‘but they’ve knocked the bloody thing down’.
The monarch was overheard saying: “When I looked at the diary and saw ‘go to Germany and make a speech about Europe’ I thought ‘whoop-de-fucking-do’.
“I wasn’t wrong. I’ve just spent all morning at a concentration camp. Jesus wept. I could really do with watching a puppet show right now. But not a German puppet show. I imagine that would be a bit grim.
“I know, I’ll go back to the hotel and stick on the Muppet movie.”
The Queen then stressed she meant the original 1979 Muppet film, ‘where Kermit rides a bike’.