IRAN has abandoned theocracy and signed a four year deal with Disney after two hours of talks with the US Government yesterday.
In a goodwill gesture designed to cement relations with the entertainment giant, Iran's President has agreed to change his name to Mahmood Ahmedisneyjad.
Hassem Kazami, Iran’s chief negotiator, said: "We had some anger issues about the West and ourselves that we needed to deal with before we could grow as people and a nation.
"We were always flying into rages about silly little things and repressing each other. That was just so not the place where we needed to be right now in our lives."
He added: "The Americans explained that their version of secular democracy meant slightly less flag burning, stoning and firing guns in the air, which, to be honest, does get a bit samey.
"Then they told us about TK Maxx, Ben and Jerry's, Grey's Anatomy and someone called Kirsten Dunst. Nice. Where do we sign?"
Jackson P. Emmit, Disney’s Vice-President for Iran, said early projects would include a "Pirates of the Straits of Hormuz" theme park and Blindfold This! a musical comedy based on the 1979 hostage crisis, starring Queen Latifa and Matthew Broderick.
US envoy Ryan Croker said: "As usual, we tested our arguments with the elders of the Free Church of Scotland. Obviously we got nowhere with them but of course the Iranians are much less extreme."