THERE is nothing gay about gently washing another man’s feet and then giving them a kiss, the Pope has confirmed.
Pope Francis said the ceremony was inspired by Jesus washing the feet of his disciples, but with a bit more soaping.
He added: “Perhaps if it wasn’t me – or for that matter, Jesus – doing this I could see how some people might think it is faintly homo-erotic.
“Therefore I have chosen to dispel this idea by performing the ceremony in a prison.”
The Pope said that prisons are ‘rough, tough places full of scary men who would beat you up if you implied they were homosexual’.
He continued: “I tell you what, if you’re gay before you go to prison, you’ll be straight by the time you come out. It’s all very masculine.
“In fact, I often wonder why we don’t put homosexuals in prison and sort them out once and for all.
“Then we wouldn’t have to have these horrible arguments about gay marriage and I could spend all day washing and kissing men’s feet without having to explain myself.”