RUSSIA has been hacking the Crufts computers to make all the weird-looking dogs win, it has emerged.
New evidence shows that Moscow hackers, personally directed by Vladimir Putin, have been manipulating the dog beauty competition for over a decade to give the fucked-up-looking ones more points.
Suspicions were raised after last years’ winning dog was revealed to have spent six months studying in St Petersburg.
A Crufts source said: “The Russian puppet-masters wanted to humiliate the West by making it look like all our dogs have tiny legs and curly tails that go up their arses.
“Without their intervention, Crufts would be all normal dogs, like labradors and medium-sized mongrels, rather than the nightmarish parade of canine weirdness it has become.”
Dog lover Emma Bradford said: “If they can rig the US election and even have a hand in Brexit then why wouldn’t they rig Crufts?”
“It makes me feel sick just thinking about it.”