THE commission on new powers for Scotland has unveiled a camel with nine legs, seven humps and 13 buttocks.Lord Smith says the camel is the ‘best of both worlds for disgusting weirdos’
The Smith Commission revealed the hideous creature to screams of horror as onlookers fainted, vomited and ran through plate glass windows in a desperate attempt to flee.
Chairman Lord Smith said: We tried to come up with a coherent set of powers, but somehow this abomination was dragged into existence.
From certain angles it doesnt look too bad. Just keep away from its rear because – as you will see – every 30 seconds it sprays liquid dung like a firemans hose.
There it goes. Oh my god.
As two of the creatures legs fell off, Smith added: That was supposed to happen.
Prime minister David Cameron welcomed the horrific camel, insisting Britain would grow to love its eye-watering stench.
He said: The Scots can use the camel to frighten people away from the abandoned fairground where they stash their gold.
Or they can use it to force some English people into giving up the best picnic table in a lovely park.
And when it dies theyll probably just eat it.