Thai hipster opens British ‘street food’ cafe

A THAI hipster has opened a cafe in Bangkok selling authentic British ‘street food’, it has emerged.

Former website designer Dang Ubonchinda is introducing Thai foodies to dishes including chips in a tray with kebab meat, chips in a pitta bread and saveloys floating in some sort of fluid.

Ubonchinda said: “Most people don’t realise Britain’s got this amazing, vibrant street food culture full of bold, gutsy dishes like chicken and mushroom pie.

“I make sure everything is cooked exactly as it would be in Britain. We don’t just fry our chips and serve them, we keep them in a heated cabinet for at least four hours to make sure they’re good and dry.

“My customers love anything ‘authentic’, so I source all our chicken burgers from the same freezer warehouse in Crewe.

“And when you order a pickled egg you can rest assured that none of our staff has a clue what the sell-by date is.”

Customer Anong Mueang said: “Sometimes they get the delivery drivers to make the salad while they’re still wearing their motorcycle gloves, just like in the UK.

“Last weekend I had a ‘British banquet’, which is a portion of chips, a battered cod, gravy, curry sauce, a Big Mac, a fried egg bap, spring rolls, another portion of chips and a really cheap sausage. Then I felt very unwell.”

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Grown men into that card game about wizards and shit

THOUSANDS of adult humans are into that game where you have little cards with pictures of monsters on them.

The game, which nobody who is not a fan knows the proper name of, is sort of like Top Trumps but with dragons.

36-year-old Norman Steele said: “My favourite card is the Defiler of Souls, a type of demon.

“That’s all I’m going to say about it because you will only take the piss.

“However I must clarify that it is nothing like Top Trumps but with dragons.”

Steele’s partner Susan Traherne said: “I knew that the card game about wizards and shit was popular, but I assumed this was just among children.

“They have these tournaments where these big, balding men stand around looking at whole folders full of these cards with pictures of goblins or whatever on them, talking about how good they are and how realistic the artwork is.

“There are loads of rules and very few female players, as far as I can tell it’s sort of like rugby for people who don’t want to get hurt.”