DONALD Trump has banned all Sylvanians from entering America, even the really cute ones.
New legislation prohibits any small humanoid animals entering the US because ‘anything that adorable must be a threat to national security’.
Trump said: “These Sylvanians claim they need someone to love and need somewhere to live. But what are we getting in return?
“Do they even have jobs? Or do they just hang around in forests wearing dungarees and old-fashioned ankle-length skirts that could easily conceal weapons?
“Some of them are rabbits and we all know how they breed.”
However a spokesman for Sylvania said: “Even the most cursory research would have revealed that Mr Periwinkle of the rabbit family works as a sign writer, and did all the banners for Brambles Department Store which is the biggest shop in Sylvania.
“He’s a straight up blue-collar worker and it’s not like his rich dad just gave him a load of fucking money.
“Anyway we live in a woodland haven where all species happily co-exist. Why the hell would we come to America?”