Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Trump is on glue, confirms White House

THE White House has confirmed that President Donald Trump is on glue.

US officials admitted that Trump’s latest rambling, incoherent performance was the result of him inhaling from a brown paper bag filled with solvents.

A spokesman  said: “He won’t let go of the bag so we think it’s either glue or possibly door knob polish.

“Brasso, something like that.”

The spokesman added: “If you inhale enough glue then Sweden becomes filled with terror. And large pink dogs the size of cattle.

“Also, he sacked John Bolton as National Security Adviser because he refused to do glue in the Oval Office.

“We’re all on glue here. We thought you should know that.”