Tuesday, 26th January 2021

Book of baby names includes all the made-up ones

A COUPLE looking through a book of baby names have complained that it includes unacceptable choices like Titty, Krane, Marlboro and McGeorge.  

The Definitive Book of Baby Names, marketed as a respectable handbook for parents-to-be, does not even get through the first few letters of the alphabet before suggesting Aston, Blanka and Demelza.

Pregnant mother Susan Traherne said: “I wanted help. Instead my husband’s decided that Volstagg is a perfectly acceptable name and this book’s backing him up.

“What possible use is a book that legitimises idiotic names like Xena and Maverick? Actual children could end up being called this stuff. It should be banned.”

Author Julian Cook said: “Every baby name has a history behind it. Some come from old English, some go as far back as Latin and others appear when predictive text goes wrong.

“Look, we were contracted to produce 300 pages of this stuff, and it’s pointless because all the good names are obvious and all the bad ones are easy to invent.

“Don’t go blaming us just because you called your child Skylar. That was your decision.”