Tuesday, 4th August 2020

Cycling holiday brilliant for two whole miles

A COUPLE who thought a cycling holiday would be a wonderful adventure changed their minds after two miles of cycling. 

Eleanor Shaw and Tom Booker’s planned week-long tour of Devon and Cornwall amended their plans after a mile of country road and a further mile of busy dual carriageway, during which they were nearly hit by three cars and an articulated lorry.

Shaw said: “We hired bikes on our last holiday to Center Parcs so we thought it would be a sort of Enid Blyton-style romp, but didn’t take into account that cycling on actual roads is a horrible nightmare.

“Tom nearly got his front wheel taken off at the junction by the cottage, and watching him trying to navigate a roundabout was both hilarious and terrifying.

“And my life flashed before my eyes while a 44-tonne Tesco lorry passed us, horn blaring, sending me into a hedge, so we decided it wasn’t worth dying just to fulfil our bullshit dream of decreasing our carbon footprint.

“We’ve taken the bikes back and booked a week in an all-inclusive in Fuerteventura. We don’t plan to travel further than 200ft from the room.”