WHY waste your life in a boring office job when you can waste your life chasing a much more exciting job you’ll never actually get to do?
Here are five completely unrealistic career choices that will guarantee you never have to pay back a penny of that student loan.
Professional poker player
Are you a savant with a superb memory, brilliant deductive skills and nerves of steel? No, we didn’t think so, but don’t let that stop you kidding yourself you can take up this supercool career.
Convince yourself all you need to do is get some hours in playing poker online and watch lots of fictional poker games like the one in Casino Royale, then go ahead and book a flight to Vegas.
Ignore the fact that a career doing something you enjoy with extremely high pay, national hero status and the chance to date beautiful women might be quite competitive.
Silicon Valley entrepreneur
Don’t let living in Slough and being unable to work out which telly remote does what put you off a life of luxury as a billionaire tech magnate in California.
Simply imagine you’ve got a brilliant concept like Facebook – maybe ‘LinkedIn for pets’ or something equally flawed – and you’ll get the computer nerds to actually make it work for you.
If you’ve moved back in at home after uni your parents will probably pay for your ticket just to get you off their guest futon.
We’re not sure what being a horse wrangler exactly entails, but they are incredibly cool and rugged, out there in the great outdoors wrangling their noble beasts. Ignore the sad truth that in reality a lot of the job is probably quite boring stuff like taking horses to the vet if they’re constipated.
Absolutely the best unrealistic career. It requires no particular skills, has vast earning potential and all you have to do is enrol on a dodgy £800 course at a tatty studio in London.
Sure, no one who ever did the course has actually become a TV presenter and your showreels will be 100% ignored, but when you announce you’re a TV presenter who hasn’t actually been on TV the student loans people will just give up.