Wednesday, 20th January 2021

'It's a die, not a dice' says Games Workshop's resident babe magnet

THE resident Romeo in Games Workshop has informed a hapless idiot of the difference between a die and some dice. 

Nathan Muir, in-house heart-throb in the Truro branch of the wargaming and minatures specialist, updated hapless gamer Joseph Turner that die is the singular form and dice the plural in front of three giggling teen girls.

Turner said: “I knew the second the words left my mouth I was going to regret it. You can’t get away with that kind of error in front of Nath and his little harem.

“I’d gone to loads of trouble painting that Lascannon Devastator squad in the hope I was going to get some action this week. But they’re all under his spell. It’s not fair. Why does he need all of them?”

Muir said: “A man’s worth in the sexy soup of hormones and physical attraction that is Games Workshop is determined by two things: the quality of his dry brushing and whether or not he knows die is the singular form of dice.

“If he wants to be a silver-tongued alpha male like I am, with a swarm of combat-ready Tyranids and a host of hot young ladies in the palm of his hand, then Turner needs to learn the rules.”

Donna Sheridan, Muir’s current favourite, agreed: “If he can’t tell the difference between die and dice, how can he be expected to satisfy a woman’s needs? He’s no better than a Magic: The Gathering player.”