SHOPPING for shoes is the best time to be a complete and utter dick, children have decided.
Despite stiff competition from car journeys and trips to the supermarket, the UK’s small children believe shoe shops provide the most satisfying ‘kicking off’ experience.
Mum-of-two Emma Bradford said: “I don’t know if it’s something in the chemicals they use to treat leather but as soon as we step into a shoe shop my kids turn on me.
‘My six-year-old threw a size 9 Start-Rite at my head just because I asked the shop assistant about growing room. Then my four-year-old disappeared somewhere with a pair of crocs and I’m pretty sure he ate an odour eater.
“Not to mention the fact that we always go back three times because shoes that fit perfectly in the fucking shop suddenly feel ‘too tight’ once we get home.”
Child Martin Bishop said: “At the shoe shop I demanded totally unsuitable shoes then screamed until the shop assistant became genuinely worried.
“It was sublime.”