Friday, 3rd July 2020

Kids wait in car with pop and crisps while parents get pissed in mate's garden

CHILDREN have been ordered to wait in the car with fizzy drinks and crisps so that barbecues do not exceed the six person limit. 

Emma and John Bradford told their two children that government regulations mean that they are not allowed to attend the social event but they have left lemonade and Quavers in the boot.

Emma said: “There’s no point bringing the kids to the barbecue. They’re fussy about food and they don’t drink.

“So we’ve left them in the Kia to play on their Switch, which is basically all they’d be doing at home anyway, and we’ve given their places to Mark and Karen who are loads of fun.

“They’re still getting out of the house, and if they get bored they can always wave at Mark and Karen’s kids in the Volvo across the road. So cute!

“I don’t know what they’re complaining about. This was every Sunday outside a pub when I was a kid in the 70s. It’s traditional British values.”

Daughter Ruby said: “They’ve left us in here but taken the dog. Too hot for him but not for us, apparently.”