A MAN who spent a huge amount of money on a new BMW could have got an actual penis extension for a fraction of the price.
Office manager Martin Bishop paid as much as a small house for his new BMW 8 Series before realising he could have cut to the chase and just got the big cock he craved.
Bishop said: “I did the maths on the drive home and I’ve been ripped off. For the cost of the Beemer I could have got a knob the size of one of those snake draught excluders.
“Getting my little fella – sorry, I meant ‘my above-average-sized fella’ – enlarged would only have set me back about £10,000. A bit of penile surgery would have been a snip at the price.
“Admittedly my penis hasn’t got an eight-speaker sound system and smart GPS, but with the car I’ve got to impress a woman with it before we get down to business. And, unlike my penis, it fucking guzzles petrol.
“I wonder if I can do a swap on some sort of website? There must be thousands of BMW owners in my predicament.”
The website BMWsIntoPenisEnlargements.co.uk said: “We can arrange for Mr Bishop to trade in his BMW for an unnaturally large penis and we’ll throw in a Vauxhall Corsa.”