THE last few cheeky gits on furlough have been told to straighten up and get back to bloody work like the rest of us.
After a year and a half of being bankrolled, the government has ordered freeloading employees still on furlough to get off their arses, put on some proper clothes and start toiling again.
Rishi Sunak said: “Remember work? That boring thing you did before you gawped at Netflix for months on end? Yeah, it’s time to do that again. Now.
“I know the comedown from your massive break will be hard, but once you get back to mindless labour it’ll be like you never left. That’s if you’ve got a job to go back to.
“If you’re poor and at a loose end, we need lots of HGV drivers. The hours are long but the pay is shit, so hose the Dorito crumbs off your body and fire off an application. My money tap is off.”
Furloughed worker Donna Sheridan said: “Oh yeah, scraping out an existence on 80 per cent of my regular income was a wild ride. I can’t wait to get back to the office and find out that I’ve been made redundant.”