People in restaurant so glad they invited a f**king anal retentive

A MEAL was turned into a massive pain in the arse by a man obsessed with splitting the bill fairly.

After eating at Bombay Heaven in Knutsford, Norman Steele decided to take a firm stance on the fact that he did not have a starter, as well as recalculating the bill seven times.

Fellow diner Emma Bradford said: “We were just going to split the bill equally but Norman decided that people ordering extra nan breads was a major moral issue.

“We’d only had a few bottles of wine between 10 of us, but apparently that was a grave injustice against Norman, who’d made one bottle of beer last all evening like the tight git he is.

“The best bit though was when he spent 45 minutes recalculating the bill on his phone. What could be a more perfect end to the evening?”

Steele said: “I just wanted the bill to be fair and equitable, which is why I asked everyone to put up their hands if they’d had two or more poppadoms and wrote it down in my notebook.

“I just wouldn’t have enjoyed it if I hadn’t saved that £2.35.”