GOT a camera on your doorbell that you claim is for security reasons? Here’s what you really use it for.
Spying on your neighbours
In the old days you had to twitch your curtains to be the local Stasi, and your attractive young neighbour might see you too. Now you can watch her every move and she won’t suspect a thing until you accidentally upload a video to Facebook of her bending over to get the shopping out of the car.
Perving over delivery people
Are you nursing secret lust for the UPS man because he wears cute little shorts when he brings his ‘package’ to your door? Or maybe you have a fetish for chicks with charity bags? Your ring camera will broadcast them to your smartphone and you can either rub one out immediately or save the footage for later. Ah, the wonders of technology.
Keeping note of where the neighbourhood’s dogs shit
It’s easier to keep tabs on where the neighbours’ pooches shit and put a furious note through their letterbox, even if it was obviously accidental when they didn’t clean it up that one time. Your pissed-off neighbours might specifically train their dogs to crap in your lavender bushes, but that’s just more viewing for you.
Getting furious about ‘your’ parking space
You have a drive and do not own the car-length patch of tarmac immediately outside your house, but you lose your shit if someone dares to park on it. Now you can keep constant watch for anyone who looks as if they might try and sprint outside with a traffic cone like a madman.
Watching for when the police arrive
At some stage your neighbours will have had enough of your creepy, voyeuristic behaviour and report you to the police. Luckily you have a ring camera to enable you watch them approach in real-time, so you can attempt to escape over the back garden fence.
