BRITONS who have fled to their second homes have confessed they had no idea that the locals they saw there were actual existing people.
Joseph Turner, who left London with his family for their place in Weymouth because they wanted a nicer backdrop to really enjoy their lockdown, admitted they thought residents were just extras employed to make the area more charming.
He continued: “So they live here? But how can they afford it?
“I thought all the born-and-bred folk had been priced out long ago, and had been forced to move to a new-build estate somewhere ugly next to an Aldi.
“The locals I see cycling the lanes past the house, propping up the bar in the pub and selling me fresh fish I assumed were shipped in for weekends to provide that delightfully authentic touch.
“But now apparently they ‘live here’ and we ‘shouldn’t be putting pressure on local hospitals’ when I didn’t even know there were hospitals. Do people really go to doctors in this backwater? It’s like something from a Thomas Hardy novel.
“I hope they don’t get ill. We’ve only had half the walled garden planted so it would be massively inconvenient.”