A PROFESSIONAL tarot reader has a sixth sense that her client’s life is in disarray because she is putting her life choices in the hands of a stranger with a pack of cards.
Mystic Nikki Hollis shocked Fran Johnson by revealing, on no more than a turn of the nine of swords, that Fran is actually concealing terrible anxieties and fears which she thought were known only to her.
Fran said: “People say tarot is nonsense, but how else could Nikki have known I’m desperate and feel I have nowhere else to turn?
“She told me that I struggle to maintain romantic relationships – true – that I haven’t been able to hold down a proper job – true – and that I often turn to drink when I’ve had a bad day. And I’m so good at concealing that, especially from my dates.
“My cards were the ten of wands, the five of pentacles and the empress, which together reveal that to find true happiness I need to stop f**king men from the apps, quit weekday wine and start taking care of myself, both mentally and physically.
“Now tell me how else would she have known that? She couldn’t possibly have. Also somehow the cards were able to intuit that I, a 32-year-old woman, secretly yearned for a mortgage and a baby.”
Hollis said: “The cards are such an incredible divination tool. Amazing how frequently they divine that getting smashed on white wine spritzers and going on 2am Vinted sprees isn’t a viable future.”
