WOMEN only visit skincare counters because they secretly love being told how shit their skin is, they have confirmed.
Office manager Emma Bradford said: “If all I wanted was a moisturiser, I’d just order it online. I go to my local skincare counter for the sexy, evil service.
“I don’t know why, but I really enjoy being sharply scolded for my ‘dry and lifeless’ skin by a sales assistant with a superiority complex and perfect fucking pores.
“It’s a bit like how I’m attracted to bastards. Something about being humiliated over minor things like whether I cleanse twice makes me come back for more every time.”
Skincare sales assistant Nikki Hollis said: “I don’t actually know anything about skincare. All our training was about how to give the customers what they want – a load of new insecurities to go home with.
“It can be tough to nail the perfect combination of judgement, pity and aloofness that drives our customers wild, but I’m getting pretty good at it.
“For the ones that like the hardcore stuff we’ve got a blemish light that really highlights every flaw. They always come back.”