Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Woman hopefully placing stuff on stairs for family to take up even though it never, ever happens

A MOTHER who has spent years putting things on the stairs for her family to take up with them cannot stop even though it has never once happened in 15 years. 

Carolyn Ryan admitted her ritual of carefully placing items on the side of a step, with a her husband, son and daughter each having their own designated stair, is an act of faith in a God she knows will never answer her prayers.

She continued: “They leave everything they own lying about the house like a bomb went off at a particularly low-grade car boot sale. So I gather it up and place it on the stairs and they ignore it.

“They’re always up and down the stairs, thundering about, going to their rooms. It’d be no trouble at all for them to grab their stuff on the way. But they don’t. Eventually I put them away myself.

“I’m doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It’s the textbook definition of insanity, but the only other options are I accept my lot as an unpaid housemaid for selfish scum or I move out.”

She added: “I’ve actually seen a nice cheap flat down the road.”