Tuesday, 26th January 2021

Woman manages to bake bread without posting about it on social media

A WOMAN has somehow baked a loaf of bread without banging on about it all over the internet.

Social deviant Francesca Johnson did not even take a photograph of the homemade seeded sourdough before using it to make ham sandwiches for lunch.

Friend Nikki Hollis said: “Who bakes their own bread and then just eats it? She didn’t even put a photo on our mums’ WhatsApp group so maybe it didn’t happen. 

“Nobody goes to all the effort of making their own bread without letting everyone they know they went to all the effort of making their own bread. Yes it bores everyone shitless but it’s just what you do.

“I made brownies last week and posted them all over Instagram with the caption ‘Homebaked brownies!!! Nom nom nom!!!’, like any normal person.

“I have suspected Francesca is full of shit ever since she told me she’d been for a run, but didn’t put a screenshot of her time or distance on Facebook. What a f**king liar.”