A WOMAN’S unruly crotch is a deliberate rewilding scheme and not a sign or laziness of neglect, she has asserted.
Eco-conscious Lucy Parry is allowing the hair on her nether areas to grow free as nature intended to help the planet, not just because it is winter, she is single and she has left all the apps.
She said: “It’s a progressive approach to personal hygiene. Which means you can’t criticise it without being a backwards, chauvinistic gammon.
“For too long I’ve been scything my pubic crop down according to the dictates of modern agriculture with nothing to show for it but a higher risk of camel toe. That’s in the past thanks to the thick, lustrous scrubland I’ve been cultivating.
“By trusting my fanny to manage itself I’ll feel some much-needed warmth and with any luck encourage biodiversity. Imagine how fulfilling it will be to have foxes or badgers scampering around down there.
“If it’s a success then I’ll rewild my armpits, legs and upper lip as well. I expect I’ll be fending off David Attenborough and Chris Packham with a stick.”
Friend Tom Logan said: “Men have been rewilding their shoulders, backs and arse cracks for decades but we don’t make a big deal about it.”