Woman too aroused by man’s soothing voice on meditation app to concentrate

A WOMAN trying to use a meditation app is too aroused by the man’s soothing voice to be in any way relaxing.

Emma Bradford wanted to use the app to help clear her mind after a busy day at work, but instead found herself imagining various torrid sexual scenarios.

Bradford said: “I thought a gently murmuring voice would be very soporific but he sounds so hot that I’m whipped up into a frenzy of passion that is actually less relaxing than cross-referencing multiple Excel spreadsheets.

“His late night talking gets me feeling much more frisky than my boyfriend’s ever does, plus I don’t have to put up with a load of bad dialogue that’s obviously been lifted from Man vs. Pussy.

“I imagine him to be a cross between Idris Elba and Johnny Depp but with the combined personality of the Dalai Lama and Fonzie. ”

She added. “Oh. I’ve just looked at a picture of him. What a shame.”